Instagram and I

Technology has embedded itself in our lives, and we’ve become highly dependent on it. From education to medicine, to relationships and even traditions, the technological world has changed every aspect of our lives. Personally, the world of digital technologies has impacted my life in various ways and on multiple levels.

I’ve always suffered from lack of self-confidence and insecurity throughout my life. I found it challenging to express my true self to the world, until social media started growing and spreading quickly. I stumbled upon Instagram, and, after a bit of hesitation, decided to make a personal account for myself. My first question was, what will my first post be, and why did I even make an account? Did I have something to say or express? The question that stood out the most was related to people’s opinions. Social media is a chance for you to be judged. You give the power to other person to criticize you and point out something you might be insecure about. So, I decided I’ll just follow my friends and family on Instagram and not post anything for a while.

After a few weeks, I decided to post a scenery photo from my recent travel to UAE. I thought to myself, that’s a safe way to dive into this world. No one would judge me or criticize me, thus, no harm can come out of it. Or so I thought. Alas, I found myself obsessing over the number of likes I got and the low engagement rate I received, which was the validation I was craving without really admitting so. My insecurity aggravated and my low self-esteem went further down.

It didn’t resolve itself overnight, or over days or weeks. For the next few months, I suffered through this vicious cycle. I post a photo of a scenery or myself, wait and wait for the number of likes to increase to reach a satisfying number but to no avail. The validation I needed wasn’t coming through. There’s no clear way to explain how it happened or why it happened, but a realization hit me after I went through a heartbreak. For a period of time, I was relying on my boyfriend for validation, and before that, on my friends or any person I came across. I noticed that the people in my life were changing, growing, maturing, going in different directions, but their essence remained the same. So why was I any different? Why do I feel confident and worthy sometime, and other times I feel miserable?

The realization that my validation and worth comes from me and me only changed my life and my perspective. The tool I had at hand was no longer my enemy. Instagram became a platform of self-expression. It became my voice and a mirror for my identity for the outside world. I had the opportunity to portray my true personality and real self. I chose to disregard other people’s opinions and reveled in a newfound self-confidence. Number of likes no longer matters to me. Today, even with the occasional insecurity I face, I’m actually proud of overcoming my fear and stepping out of my comfort zone because I believe this is how we grow as individuals.

Furthermore, this digital world allows you to adopt a certain identity and represent a specific part of you. Different worlds exist on different platforms. I found the world I belong to on Instagram. I share my artistic side in travel photography, which is personal to every individual. We each have our style in capturing a specific scene or a person, and, by doing so, we let the viewer see things from our perspective and show them how we see the world. Instagram is for the outside world to see how I see and view things.

However, being active on social media is always risky. I found that sometimes scrolling through my feed increases my lack of self-confidence. Having everything on display and available may lead you to compare what you have to what the other person has. The importance of an “Instagram worthy picture” can stress a person out. Moreover, the ideals of beauty keep changing at a rapid pace due to the influence of celebrities, bloggers, models, etc. Everyone sets a beauty standard, and you feel the need to adopt each and every one of them. For example, nowadays we see the Kardashians, reality TV stars, dominating the world of beauty standards, with their hard to achieve body shapes. But, then you stumble upon a picture of Emily Ratajkowski to make even more confused. You reach a point where nothing is good enough, and you reflect that negatively upon yourself.

But let’s not disregard the aid we’ve been provided with via this intersection of computing and humanities. With the new technological advancements of e-book platforms, such as kindle, iPad, Samsung Tablets, etc., I found it easier for to read as technology has given me the opportunity to access many educational platforms whenever I want and wherever I am. It exposed me to multiple domains because of their accessibility and made it easier to seek more knowledge and read about new discoveries in any industry.

The world is now a global village where everyone is connected to everyone else regardless of their location, businesses and companies are able to grow and succeed because of the means available to them to advertise themselves, and individuals have easy access to education, job opportunities, shopping, etc. All of these changes caused our lifestyle to change drastically. We have now grown accustomed to a fast paced life where slowing down is not an option anymore. This in itself has a major negative impact on our physical and mental health, where the latter is often disregarded. For example, digital technologies have profoundly changed childhood and adolescence. The internet and the means to access it, such as tablets and smartphones, along with social media platforms and messaging apps, have become integral to the lives of youth around the world. They have transformed their education and learning, the way they make and maintain friendships, how they spend their leisure time, and their engagement with a wider society. But we cannot ignore the impact it has on their mental health, and their exposure to cyberbullying from different people.

The more we’re progressing with technology, the more problems we’re creating that we regard as insignificant. Digital humanities can serve us greatly in our lives if we learn to counter the negative impact it has on our health.